So,I didn't plan on writing today(been experiencing writer's block recently). But, got into a huge argument with an acquaintance when I bluntly condemned her new relationship. Before you say,"wetin concern me",i'll tell you why.
She just met this cool,handsome dude who just got out of a 6 year relationship with his long term girlfriend.I told her the blunt truth"Your relationship wont last". She took offence. Of course she has every right to. She reminded me of who I was before.
The issue is,unless you are Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt.......
a rebound relationship is a no no.When I end a relationship,the next person I meet within the space of 3 months after the end of my relationship is just a rebound.That person you hang around with just to make you get overyour ex.(Chris Brown ,Karrauche, Rihanna ring a bell?)
Some are very lucky and end up loving and even getting married but that happens when your ex was a pain in the butt and you couldn't wait to get out.
So,a few questions are pertinent
-How did they breakup? Had they broken up emotionally long before the physical breakup?
-Does he still talk about his ex"That girl is a bitch",never going back to her"?
-Are they still friends?
-Have they broken up and gotten back together in the past?
-Has he invested so much in the past relationship
If the answers to these questions are in the negative,then you might have a chance of making it work.
Last year,I met this amazing guy and we hit it off pretty quick . When we started chatting,the first thing he said was"I used to have a girlfriend,we just broke up. I'm never going back to her". I ignored the warning signs and felt cool with myself.We started dating and i was gradually taking her place in his world(so I thought).
But I ignored the fact that he would indirectly talk about her most times(he never said anything positive though). He would make references to her annoying traits,and say,they always got back together after a while but this time,he hated her so much and could never go back. I would stupidly join in the insults and say things like"wow,how could she have insulted your mother,or how could she have been so rude to your friends?
I ignored the fact that his friend would refer to how madly inlove he used to be with her. I ignored the fact that,they were shocked he had fallen for another girl so soon.
I tried to be everything she was not.Then one day,we were at a party,and he just called me out and said"Do you know for the 1st time in my life,I'm forgetting about her?I can sleep without thinking of her and I promise you. I'm in love with you.Its over for good).
I recall shedding tears.Oh I finally got a young,yahoo rich,handsome boy who loved me.Then our relationship was on cloud 9.He spoilt me silly with gifts,attention,love...
Then something happened. His ex had apparently moved on. I found out her name and searched for her on facebook. She had posted some pictures with a new guy in a range rover sport.I was overjoyed that that chapter was closed for good.I decided to flaunt it in his face,just in case he thought she would never get over him.
So, I made the mistake or the best thing I could when I said"Dear have you seen the pictures ....posted on facebook? He was like what pics?I said of herself and one guy in a Range sport.
He was stunned.So stunned by the fact that she had moved on to someonericher.So,the silent competition began. He plastered my face allover all networking sites,he declared his love for me allover.
I was feeling like a queen.I was wrong. I was just a bait.The fact that she moved on rekindled his interest in her,as much as he hated her,he couldn't stand the thought of her being happy elsewhere.
She knew him,she knew he was seeing me,To get his attention,she had to feign happiness.So,as he intensified his fake love for me,she intensified her fake love for the other guy. Fast forward to 2 weeks later, as a sure girl i figured it out and called off the relationship(hell yeah,Dump him before he dumps you).
That placed me ahead . He couldn't believe it.So, he started chasing me and stopped chasing her.She noticed and started chasing him,coming to the house,crying,falling sick...no man alive can say no to a woman who's deeply inlove with him.
So,one day,I just took a good look at him,his lifestyle,mine and saw we were headed in two opposite places.It wasn't worth fighting for.
I decided to let him go.I decided to let her win.In the true sense of the word,I didn't let her win.She won.I was just the REBOUND.
They got married this month and I smiled to myself.Maybe I was just an instrument for the both of them to rekindle their love.Maybe I needed to come into the picture for them to realize what they had.
Looking at their pictures made me happy, no one would love him as she does. I'm happy with our relationship.We're now friends
Then my phone rang and this guy who had been asking me out calls.I answered excitedly and decided to go out on a date.
Fast forward to 10 mins later"he said"My EX girlfriend is a bitch. Im never going back to her". I smiled and asked"When did you break up with her again'"? Last week mennnn and im so glad I did coz i found you.
"Yea you found your single lonelyass" I said and walked out.
Na me you wan use do rebound abi?Thunder fire you(excuse my language)
She just met this cool,handsome dude who just got out of a 6 year relationship with his long term girlfriend.I told her the blunt truth"Your relationship wont last". She took offence. Of course she has every right to. She reminded me of who I was before.
The issue is,unless you are Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt.......
a rebound relationship is a no no.When I end a relationship,the next person I meet within the space of 3 months after the end of my relationship is just a rebound.That person you hang around with just to make you get overyour ex.(Chris Brown ,Karrauche, Rihanna ring a bell?)
Some are very lucky and end up loving and even getting married but that happens when your ex was a pain in the butt and you couldn't wait to get out.
So,a few questions are pertinent
-How did they breakup? Had they broken up emotionally long before the physical breakup?
-Does he still talk about his ex"That girl is a bitch",never going back to her"?
-Are they still friends?
-Have they broken up and gotten back together in the past?
-Has he invested so much in the past relationship
If the answers to these questions are in the negative,then you might have a chance of making it work.
Last year,I met this amazing guy and we hit it off pretty quick . When we started chatting,the first thing he said was"I used to have a girlfriend,we just broke up. I'm never going back to her". I ignored the warning signs and felt cool with myself.We started dating and i was gradually taking her place in his world(so I thought).
But I ignored the fact that he would indirectly talk about her most times(he never said anything positive though). He would make references to her annoying traits,and say,they always got back together after a while but this time,he hated her so much and could never go back. I would stupidly join in the insults and say things like"wow,how could she have insulted your mother,or how could she have been so rude to your friends?
I ignored the fact that his friend would refer to how madly inlove he used to be with her. I ignored the fact that,they were shocked he had fallen for another girl so soon.
I tried to be everything she was not.Then one day,we were at a party,and he just called me out and said"Do you know for the 1st time in my life,I'm forgetting about her?I can sleep without thinking of her and I promise you. I'm in love with you.Its over for good).
I recall shedding tears.Oh I finally got a young,
Then something happened. His ex had apparently moved on. I found out her name and searched for her on facebook. She had posted some pictures with a new guy in a range rover sport.I was overjoyed that that chapter was closed for good.I decided to flaunt it in his face,just in case he thought she would never get over him.
So, I made the mistake or the best thing I could when I said"Dear have you seen the pictures ....posted on facebook? He was like what pics?I said of herself and one guy in a Range sport.
He was stunned.So stunned by the fact that she had moved on to someonericher.So,the silent competition began. He plastered my face allover all networking sites,he declared his love for me allover.
I was feeling like a queen.I was wrong. I was just a bait.The fact that she moved on rekindled his interest in her,as much as he hated her,he couldn't stand the thought of her being happy elsewhere.
She knew him,she knew he was seeing me,To get his attention,she had to feign happiness.So,as he intensified his fake love for me,she intensified her fake love for the other guy. Fast forward to 2 weeks later, as a sure girl i figured it out and called off the relationship(hell yeah,Dump him before he dumps you).
That placed me ahead . He couldn't believe it.So, he started chasing me and stopped chasing her.She noticed and started chasing him,coming to the house,crying,falling sick...no man alive can say no to a woman who's deeply inlove with him.
So,one day,I just took a good look at him,his lifestyle,mine and saw we were headed in two opposite places.It wasn't worth fighting for.
I decided to let him go.I decided to let her win.In the true sense of the word,I didn't let her win.She won.I was just the REBOUND.
They got married this month and I smiled to myself.Maybe I was just an instrument for the both of them to rekindle their love.Maybe I needed to come into the picture for them to realize what they had.
Looking at their pictures made me happy, no one would love him as she does. I'm happy with our relationship.We're now friends
Then my phone rang and this guy who had been asking me out calls.I answered excitedly and decided to go out on a date.
Fast forward to 10 mins later"he said"My EX girlfriend is a bitch. Im never going back to her". I smiled and asked"When did you break up with her again'"? Last week mennnn and im so glad I did coz i found you.
"Yea you found your single lonely
Na me you wan use do rebound abi?Thunder fire you(excuse my language)
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