Sadly, I heard Covenant University has expelled Bisi over the mess. What is she going to tell her parent?
Wednesday, 2 April 2014
Student Of Covenant Uni Doing Things (PHOTO LEAK)
Wednesday, 26 February 2014
I Think My Husband Has A Side Chick! What Can I Do?
Dear readers am confused and losing it. I have been married
for 3yrs now to the best man. Before marriage, sex with him was great...then I
looked forward to every moment with him. Few years down the lane my husband
seems to have lost interest so bad that we can stay two months without sex. Recently
I noticed he couldn't even get an erection with me. I suspect there is a side
chick and I really don’t know what to do.
Jim Iyke Involved In A Car Accident
Séx Is Healthy For You, Beyond The Pleasure
Now that the weekend stares each of us in the face, it’s also necessary to have a rough idea of what we will do in order to stay focused, healthy and totally revved up to meet the demands of the new week.
One physical activity that can help in this regard, researchers say, is getting down to the real ‘business,’ not necessarily to make babies, but really to unwind and let your partner feel your presence the right way all over.Many long-married couples seem to miss out on the benefits of sex, which they, more often than not, push to the back of family agenda, especially when they are no longer trying for babies. Yet, scientists insist that séx has so many advantages that affect our health psychologically, mentally, physiologically... name it, and there you are. This part of our social life is so necessary to our overall wellbeing that researchers counsel us to indulge in it for up to three times in a week.
Scientists caution, though, that too much séx can also be detrimental to health. They warn that having séx more than thrice a week can weaken the immune system and make us susceptible to infections.
Again, researchers warn that only those in healthy, loving monogamous relationships could hope to reap all the health benefits of séx. They say having risky séx with lots of partners will definitely do more harm than good.
Now, what are the advantages derivable from this physical gratification? Here…
Boosts circulation, brain power
Scientists at the Royal Australasian College of Physicians note that more blood moves through the blood vessels when you have séx, expressly cutting your risk of heart attack or stroke as a result. The researchers enthuse that sex releases certain feel-good hormones such as dehydroepiandrosterone and oxytocin, both of which play a huge role in pair bonding. In fact, because of its importance in love-making, oxytocin is variously referred to as the “love hormone,” or “cuddle hormone” because it is released when people snuggle up or bond socially.
Cuts blood pressure and stress
For some of us, the time of stress is also the period we refrain from séx. Yet, a study by some scholars at the School of Sciences, University of Paisley, Scotland, reveals that séx not only lowers blood pressure, it also reduces stress.
The scientists argue that séx can improve mood and combat anxiety by reducing stress signals in the brain. They counsel that when you have séx, it lowers the levels of cortisol — the hormone that indicates high stress levels.
Relieves pain
A séxuality researcher at Rutgers University, Professor Emeritus Beverly Whipple, assures that good coition can relieve physical pain. The magic hormone, again, is oxytocin, which she describes as a natural chemical in the body that surges before and during climax. Again, she says, “the endorphins released during climax block pain signals from reaching the nervous system and thus are critical to maintaining optimum health.”
Goodbye to colds!
A bout of colds can make you miserable for days. Not to worry though, researchers at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania, United States of America, found that “having séx once or twice a week increased the production of the immune-boosting antibody — immunoglobulin — by a third. Again, German scientists say copulation increases the white blood cells. The white blood cells are the cells of the immune system that are involved in defending the body against infectious diseases and foreign materials.
Heart attack? No more!
In 2002, British scientists carried out a study of large population of men, and concluded that frequent séxual intercourse can “shield you from fatal coronary events.”
Researchers say men who have regular séx are about “45 per cent less likely to develop life-threatening heart conditions than men who have séx once a month or less.”
Another research by scientists at the New England Research Institute in Massachusetts and published in the American Journal of Cardiology, shows that “men who made love at least twice a week were much less likely to have heart disease than those whose séxual encounters were limited to once a month or less.”
So, in addition to healthy eating, rev up your health with this other therapy and you are good to go!
Banish prostate cancer
Experts at the America-based National Cancer Institute counsel that men who successfully conclude a séxual activity at least five times a week were much less likely to get prostate cancer.
A reproductive endocrinologist, Prof. Oladapo Ashiru, says prostate cancer is the single most common cancer in men; while urologists warn that it’s also the second deadliest cancer, next only to lung cancer. Yet, experts say a simple act of regular séxual intercourse can serve as a preventive measure.
According to a study in the Journal of the American Medical Association, men who have séx at least thrice a week reduce by 15 per cent their prostate cancer risk.
Takes care of headaches
It’s not all about men, as women also stand to benefit from this benevolent act. Researchers enthuse that the endorphins and corticosteroids released during séx have analgesic effects on the body, relieving the pain of headaches, arthritis, cramps and body aches.
“Endorphins are a natural painkiller,” the researchers say; while “the production of oestrogen (which is also released during séx) in women may also ward off period pain.”
Improves sleep
Those who find it difficult to sleep may also try this therapy, as experts say séx induces sleep as a result of the oxytocin that is released during the act. Of course, when you are able to obtain a restful sleep, your mental and physical health will improve.
No more incontinence
Incontinence is the inability to control urination. And although urinary incontinence affects both men and women, physicians say women are twice as likely as men to develop incontinence.
But then, you can guard against this embarrassing phenomenon by having séx. Scientists say this is achievable because the muscles that regulate the bladder receive a “workout” whenever you have séx, as the entire pelvic floor muscles contract while the exercise lasts.
Again, experts advise post-menopausal women to guard against vaginal atrophy by having regular séx. It will prevent likely complications and urinary tract infections, we are told.
Source: Punch
Iyanya Tattoos Names of His Late Parents On His Chest
Singer Iyanya lost his dad, mum and brother within a space of three years. Really sad. May their soul RIP!
Domestic Violence Model Shares Her Experience
I came across this heart-breaking story shared by a beautiful model, Gabriella Bambii; she’s a survivor of domestic violence and it happened with a boy she dated for 8 months.
She shared the sad story and a graphic photo of her badly injured face/body below:
This might be a little graphic but I just want to let everyone know that I am okay. I am a survivor of domestic violence with a boy I dated for 8 months.
I really thought everything was fine but he constantly questioned me about cheating and flirting. Non sense. I never looked at someone the way he looked at me. Thought I loved this boy.
I was kicked out of a moving vehicle, then beaten and dragged, as I blacked out and was left lying there in my own puddle of blood.
Doctors said I could have died if I had not made it when I did. I am so blessed and beyond lucky to be alive and have so much support from friends, family, and strangers.
As I try to recover, I ask you to please keep me in your prayers. I have to wear a neck brace for 3-4 weeks, an arm cast and I can barely walk for now. Thank you for all the love. I hope to be an inspiration to women and anyone involved in domestic violence.
Wednesday, 5 February 2014
POLO AVENUE IS OPENING THIS SUNDAY-FEBRUARY 9, 2014
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| JENNIFER OBAYUWANA |
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| JOHN OBAYUWANA & DAUGHTER-JENNIFER |
Come this Sunday, February 9, 2014 at the very exclusive Polo Towers on Ozumba Mbadiwe, Victoria Island, right opposite the Radisson Blu Hotel the new addition to the growing Polo Ltd tentacles Polo Avenue would be declared open officially.
This particular project has been a long time coming for the brand, it is the baby of the Executive Director of Polo Ltd, Miss Jennifer Obayuwana, whose dad the very debonair John Obayuwana owns the luxury conglomerate where the very best of the luxurious things of life converge.
We had a peek at the super luxury store sometime ago and we were totally impressed by the ambiance and all that we saw. Good money was put to good use to make the place as good as any of its kind anywhere else in the world, the decor is super fantastic. It would stock exclusively like we have said many times already the in season first line collections of Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana, Balenciaga, Jimmy Choo & Sophie Hulme.
Invitation cards we hear are being distributed already to the fashionistas & the who-is-who of the style world in Lagos already. To make sure that the event is first class, the event company owned by creative director & CEO of Beth Modeling Agency, organisers of the Elite Model Look Nigeria, Elizabeth Elohor Aisien has been contracted to put the event together.
So expect to see all the young and the restless Lagos fashionistas the likes of Jania Ochonogor, Linda Sodeinde, Ifeoma Williams, Freda Francis, Eku Edewor, Yvonne Nwosu, Michelle Dede, Ene Lawani, Ono Bello etc and also the not too young reliable the likes of Nkiru Anumudu, Vivienne Chioloji, Mo Abudu, Betty Irabor, Esosa Anenih et al at the event. There would be enough champagnes to pop and canapes to munch, while there would most definitely be a buying frenzy.
Yvonne Nelson Loves John Dumelo She Is Asking For A Date
Actress Chika Ike:-The Kind of Man I Need In My Life Now
Has Chika found love again?
That is private. I don’t like too much publicity. When it is about to happen then my fans will know.
What lessons did you learn from your previous marriage?
I have learnt to be patient and that there’s a limit to everything. I have also learnt that I deserve the best and no one should make me feel better than who I am. I’ve also learnt to forgive and let go.
What kind of man would you like to settle down with?
The key is happiness. I don’t want to say a God fearing, kind, lovely,
tall man etc. Those are clichés. I just need someone who will understand
me and make me happy.
If you had an opportunity to recon- cile with your ex-husband would you?
No, I won’t. He’s in the past and I don’t want to go back to him. I have forgiven him and let go. I don’t want to talk about my past.
How do you handle your male fans?
Everybody wants to date me, marry me, be my best friend, but I just have to draw a line and respect myself.
Okey Bakassi Shares Photos Of His Lovely Kids
Comedian Okey Bakassi just shared lovely pictures of his grown kids – son, Chetanna and daughters, Fechi and Chidera, from their Christmas holiday last December.
Chidera, Okey’s eldest daughter is 12 years old
Chidera, Okey’s eldest daughter is 12 years old
Reasons Why To Have S*X Every Day Is Healthy For Married Couples
1. Increases immunityAccording to studies, regular s*x positively influences immunity both in men and women. So if you are having s*x daily, then you should know that it increases the level of immune-boosting antibody called immunoglobulin A, which helps you fight common illnesses.
2. Great form of exercise
Not surprising – s*x helps to burn those stubborn calories. Studies suggest that having s*x regularly is as good as pumping iron in the gym. What is more, during the intercourse there is muscular movement of the thighs, legs, arms, shoulders and lower abdomen which is like the total workout of the body.
3. Brings a couple closer
Most couples, busy with work commitments, sometimes find it difficult to spend time together during the day. But they can get the most out of their bedrooms. Interestingly, regular lovemaking makes people closer thus strengthening their relationship.
4. Comfort factor
Do you still feel vulnerable in bed, especially when you’re unclad in front of your partner? Having s*x life more often can help you to overcome this barrier. Studies reveal that couples who make love more frequently are likely to feel reassured about themselves in bed.
5. Makes you look & feel young
Some studies reveal that s*xual interaction allows the release of endorphins and boosts the skin’s production of vitamin D, which in turn makes one look and feel young.
6. Helps to fight stress
Good news is that you can relieve stress and depression with the help of your s*xual performance in the bedroom. Couples who make love regularly enjoy a more relaxed and happy life than those who have s*x once a week.
7. Gives you better sleep
Having s*x before going to bed is the best way to ensure a good night’s sleep. Pleasant exhaustion after lovemaking is a normal reaction of the body which helps in inducing sleep. So after a hard day at work, indulge in sweat-inducing s*x to get some restful slumber.
8. It’s plain fun
s*x can be a fun exercise for couples who are in a committed relationship. So while physical intimacy helps the two of you stay connected, it also helps in adding some spice in your life. Moreover, experimenting in the bedroom with more than just vanilla s*x can add that much-needed naughty element to your relationship.
7 Interesting Facts About Kissing
Here is the list of some interesting facts about kissing. Probably, some of them are already familiar to you and some will become a good discovery.
1. The insulting slang phrase “kiss my a*s” dates back at least to the year 1705.
2. Lips are 100 times more sensitive than the fingertips. Even private parts don’t possess as much sensitivity as lips.
3. Passionate kissing burns 6.4 calories per minute.
4. The mouth is full of bacteria. When two people kiss, they exchange between 10 million and 1 billion bacteria.
5. A medieval manuscript warns Japanese men against deep kissing during the female climax because a woman might accidentally bite off part of her lover’s tongue.
6. The Christian ritual kiss or “kiss of peace” was used during prayer, Eucharist, baptism, ordination, and in connection with greeting, funerals, monastic vows, and martyrdom.
7. Contraction of HIV through kissing is very unlikely. One woman was infected in 1997 she and the infected man both had gum disease. Transmission was likely through the man’s blood and not his saliva.
Wande Coal And Olamide Beefing Each Other??
Wande Coal and rap rave of the moment Olamide are currently not on speaking terms. The brouhaha is believed to have started back in late 2012 when Olamide released his YBNL album.
On the track titled ‘Picture’, Olamide rapped about not letting his guard down when it comes to interacting with obsessed female fans.‘Oloso (prostitutes) thinking of how to ruin me, but I know what I’m doing/they want to Wande Coal me, they want to Davido me,’ he rapped. Both Wande Coal and Davido have been involved in controversies over n**e/half n**e photos purportedly leaked by women.
Wande Coal, we are told, was not impressed by Olamide’s reference to the incident. Months later, when Ice Prince was recording songs for his Fire of Zamani album, he called on Wande Coal, Yung L and Olamide to feature on a track called ‘Gimme dat’. Wande Coal had wrapped up his verse when he found out Olamide would also be featured on the song.
Sources say Wande wasn’t pleased with that and asked that he should not be featured on the same track with Olamide. Ice Prince, we are told, was forced to take Wande Coal’s verse off the song and replace it with a verse from Burna Boy.
The song, produced by Chopstix, was released for digital download on April 24, 2013. Interestingly, a previous version of the song, which featured Wande Coal’s verse, leaked on the internet four months later, August 23, 2013.
Must Read For Ladies – The One Reason Men Are Not Approaching You!!!
Lately, you can’t enter a hair salon, restaurant or lounge without hearing women complain about the lack of eligible men. And they have a point: take away the men in relationships, the gay men, the incarcerated men, the unemployed/uneducated men and the “dogs,” and there aren’t a lot of men to choose from.
But some, NOT all, of these women contribute to their inability to find a man. Some of these women push men away as soon as they meet them.
While some women don’t pull the “right” men, there are others who don’t attract men at all. And most of them have no idea why.
Despite what relationship experts, gurus and analysts would have you believe, there’s really no complex secret to attracting men. The way to attract men? Umm…stop repelling them. Simple physics.
Be kind, friendly and approachable. That’s all.
Nowhere was this more apparent than at a house party this weekend. The house party was full of men. Straight men. Attractive men. Blue-collar guys like maintenance men and bus drivers. White-collar guys who worked on Wall Street, for Citigroup or at prestigious law firms. Whatever type of man you’re interested in, you could find him at this party.
There were some women, like me, who left the party having been approached by several eligible guys. There were others who left without any love.
I sat back and watched my friends interact to see the difference in their behavior. (Yes, this was my personal social experiment). I found that the very friends who complain about being lonely repel the men that may be interested in them.
It’s not that they were unattractive. Quite the opposite. These ‘lonely’ girls were gorgeous and stacked like The House of Pancakes. It wasn’t their bodies that repelled men; it was their body language.
They looked distant. Annoyed. Holier than thou. Unpleasant. Moody. Uninterested. Rude.
They were tied to their friends at the hip all night, unwilling to branch off and socialize. Some even complained that there were too many men at the party. They looked like they’d reject the first man that approached them. And were surprised when no man did.
I’ve spoken to my male friends enough to know that they make a point to avoid women that seem this way. Their explanation is simple: No one wants to be rejected. And if you’re giving off a vibe like you may reject a man, they’re not setting themselves up for failure by approaching you.
On the flip side, a couple of my girls and I attracted men like moths to a flame. By the end of the night, we had several prospects — with great jobs and good looks — who were interested in getting to know us better.
And it’s not because we’re easy or exceptionally attractive. Don’t get me wrong—looks are important -—but it’s not about how big your b*tt is. My friend with the baddest shape is usually left by her lonesome. My thin girlfriend with hardly any curves can’t keep guys away.
It’s more about how you carry yourself. The vibe you put out in the universe. The energy.
Are you desperate? Negative? Moody? Snotty? Men can read that. And if you come off that way, prepare to be snotty all by yourself.
If you’re negative and always complaining or sticking your nose in the air, you’ll deter men from approaching you. A positive attitude and pleasant demeanor go a long way in attracting men into your life.
My friends and I that were approached are just friendly and pleasant girls that smile, laugh, wink. And it gets us the dates and attention that seems to elude many.
And note: friendly doesn’t mean you’re chasing men, or being a whore. As I said before, the girls competing for attention by throwing themselves at men are repelling men too, but for another reason. That reason being, as my boy put, “I don’t want it if it’s that easy,” (c) Tupac.
My advice is to simply give them a sign that you’re interested. And you’ll be surprised to find, more often than not, they’re interested back.
Dog Eats Owners £80,000 Aston Martin Car
A 42-year-old builder, Royston Grimstead has given his pet dog away after she chewed a hole through the wheel arch of his prized £80,000 Aston Martin.
The 4-year-old border collie spaniel cross had waited till her owner left for work before she started chomping her way through the DB9 Volante’s wheel arch, causing a £3,000 worth of damage to his luxury car.
According to a distraught Royston, “I advertised to try to rehome her because she does not get on with my other dog. She must have overheard me because she’s normally friendly and never really chewed on anything before.
“I came home and saw her covered in white stuff and I thought she had got a bird and it was feathers – but it was the fibreglass from the car.”
A dog behaviour expert has suggested it was likely Luce, who Mr Grimstead claimed had never chewed any of his possessions before, went for the car after she became stressed while her owner was away.
My Sugar Daddy Is "Sweeter" Than My Boyfriend
I have this guy I've been dating for like two years now and he works in a bank here in Lagos but I cant seem to remember the last time he gave me any reasonable money. He always complain that his salary is small and even when he comes to my house and we make love, he doesn't last, he always rush the séx.
He can't satisfy a woman in bed, all he knows how to do is gbu gbu, gba gba and that's all...
But I met this advance man last October who is married with just two children. He said he loves his wife and do take care of her but he needs me on the side. I accepted and I've been enjoying him since then.
He gives me enough money and, more importantly, he makes love to me in a special way not like that my rush rush boyfriend. We even travel to Abuja together three weeks ago and he proposed to buy a house for me to stay in Abuja and forget about my small business and poor boyfriend in Lagos.
Please, sincerely, what do you guys think I should do? Should I dump my boyfriend and move on?
My Girlfriend Is Having Séx With Her Boss To Get Promotion
Trouble started in my relationship with Amara early last year when she started going about with one fat lady in our area. Although we live in the same house, after I went to see her mum and also took her to my family in Delta State, but I hardly touch her at night, unless I struggle before she will allow me do anything.
Since she started following the fat lady, she changed her name to Amyy and I was told it was the lady who got a job for her in the bank. As soon as she started the work, my girlfriend changed totally as she dress very badly and when I complain she said I should get her a job if am man enough. Olu Famous can you imagine?
In just 8 months of working, the bank have promoted her and she now wears costly gold and perfumes.
I can even say that am ashamed to say this, but Amara brought another man to my house three weeks ago when I went to work and a boy in my compound used his phone to capture them making love...
It was last weekend that I didn't go to work that this boy decided to show me the video. It was like blue film and I wonder how many people would have seen my girlfriend getting screwed in his phone before he came to me with the video. I feel like crying.
I confronted her and she denied. She said it is computer manipulation that I should not believe all this boys that know how to operate computer. In fact Amara is taking me for a fool but I don't know how to tell my mum that I'm not interested again and chase her out of my house.
I'm 36 and my mum once said any mistake this girl make I should forgive and marry her. What can I do?
He Wants to Dump Me After Taking My Nudé Photo
He has been taking care of me in every way for the last two years and each time he tries to take my pic when am not putting on clothes I don't allow it until last month when I spend weekend in his place. While we were busy in bed he brought out his phone and took pictures of him on top me. I was shy but had to allow him.
When we were done, I came down from the bed and he took two more photos of me...
I didn't complain because I love him but I told him to change the password on his phone so that his friends or any other person wont see the photos, because I was not wearing anything at all. He agreed and even changed his password before I left his place that Saturday.
But since that day he has been acting funny, not calling me for a whole day, and even when I call he will say he is busy and all that. I complained to his sister on phone and she promised to talk to him but it got worse.
Now, just last week he said he can't continue with me again that I'm not free with him. How else should I be free with him? I know that I dont make love with him the way he wants but that is cos we are not married.
My nudé photos are in his phones and he said I should not come to his place again.
Please what should I do? I still love him.
- Endurance
Wednesday, 15 January 2014
Maheeda Doing Bad Things
Why Do We Christians Take These Nonsense?
Now the latest saga is that of a pastor in South Africa who ordered his members to eat grass like goats all in the name of "baptising" them. In fact, in other pictures, the same pastor was seen climbing on these people.
Dear Christians, are most of us so gullible that we can't say "NO" even when our pastor is leading us astray?
#MyPeoplePerishForLackOfKnowledge
Naija Babe Bares It All, Too Much Séxiness
When You’re Gay in Nigeria
A lot of times we believe that we’re
quite removed from certain elements of the west. Homosexuality is one
of those issues which exists in our society but we are often very quick
to handle it with a 10-foot pole. We don’t want to readily believe that
it is something that is around us. Cultural and religious restraints go a
long way in forming our mindset. However, once in a while we have to
stop to think about people who are not so directly removed from
homosexuality. Close friends and family of people with this sexual
orientation have to live, and deal with the stigma that society places
on their loved ones. BN reader Chinagorom Martin is one of such. He grew up with a gay relative and experienced first-hand the hate that was directed towards him.
In his mail to us, he mentioned that this brother and friends were going through something that society didn’t quite understand. He decided to write about ‘the whole experience and life: discovering your preference of guys, the uncertainties that brings to your heart, the fears of being discovered and all.’
In his mail to us, he mentioned that this brother and friends were going through something that society didn’t quite understand. He decided to write about ‘the whole experience and life: discovering your preference of guys, the uncertainties that brings to your heart, the fears of being discovered and all.’
With the passing of the anti-gay
bill into law, Chinagorom was inspired to write the piece and in his
words: “My writing is not gay activism. I write so that people may know
that life is hard for these guys already. The best we can do for them is
a little tolerance. With the bill and all that has happened thereafter
there’s close to an anarchy in this community and as a nation we have
enough demons already that we do not wish to add this the list.”
Please share your thoughts in the
comments section. We urge you to be respectful and not malicious in
putting your thoughts and feelings across.
When
you’re gay in Nigeria,your whole life is one collosal creationary
displacement. You should have been born in Europe or some place in
America, not here. Maybe He’d tossed you in Africa hoping you’d land in
South Africa but you look in the sky and it is a green-white-green.You
go to the mirror and a square-in-a-round-hole stares back at you. You’re
an anomaly, your very existence is an abomination.
Growing up you realize you focused on
your peers’ bulging crotches while they bantered about the new girls
they were cutting eyes at. But God forbid you were checking them out.
You were just admiring the zipper on their jeans, nothing more. Strong
as you feel it, you couldn’t be one of those things they call
homosexuals, those cursed, perverted, bedamned, anathemised and
hell-sure lot. Everyone hates and condemns them so you couldn’t be a
walking taboo, admiring guys’ butts. God just forbid!
For all you have heard about your
forbidden feelings no one has been directly spotted to be the same as
you and no one has checked in with you. You conclude you are alone and
carry your ton weighing sexuality lips-sealed, it is a burden breaking
your neck that you cannot put down nor mention. It is a live coal that
burns in your mouth that you cannot spit out. Then you journey through a
spell-casting novena and make many resolves, but six months later you
are where you started. Gay!
The more you think about it the more you
feel caged, lonely. You want to be in touch with what you feel, you
want a sampling. But you find yourself with no canvass to paint out the
emotions. Those like you keep to themselves and before long you take to
porn, ignoring the females and ogling every bump of muscles, every fleck
of hair on the stallions. That is the picture in your head when you go
to the bathroom for water and soap and an addiction builds, slowly.
Soon you get your first kiss and you are
relieved your feelings are twinned in some other guy. Then you hear of
guys who have been kissing guys. Same folks who traded tales of
heterosexual conquests? Ah. Really? In the next gathering you make your
own imaginary boasts. Finally.
After the kiss you battle thoughts of
eternal damnation and do more novenas, more self-abasement but give them
up soon you realise they did not make you less gay. And then a whole
new world emerges on social media. You realise you have been stuck in
ages past after you had those epiphanic chats on Facebook: two guys
commending your looks and asking for your cell phone number. But you
cannot, should not have guys making gay advances through an account
where brothers and sisters and relatives and colleagues are listed and
information says Interested in Women. So you create a phoney Facebook
account and name it something silly, something to draw in like-minded
guys. You name it ‘Fine Gboy’ and use a provocative profile picture, a
headless shot of your chiseled abdomen maybe. You block out all gay
suggestive profiles on your main account and request friendship of same
through the phoney account where everything guys happens and information
says Interested in Men. And there you select friends like you are
picking Adani rice . No effeminate-looking/acting dude. That’s an
abomination within the sacrilege your life already is. It is like
contacting hepatitis B after a HIV+ diagnosis. No students, too much
drama. Just working-class, safe! On your fake Facebook you are
introduced to gay websites. You sign up on both and plunge deeper into
the cultic hide-and-seek game being gay in Nigeria is. Soon you are
meeting guys located far and near, people like you, men seeking men, and
you bless the Lord for internet. Social media comes and communication
is more spot-on, guys are even closer; only you are horrified by those
guys who have filled in gay or bisex as their sexuality on Badoo where
they could have left the row blank. This is Nigeria!, you want to remind
them.
Gradually you hit the big 30 and the
question of marriage becomes inevitable. Your friends tell you how they
have to work up an erection to fulfill conjugal responsibilities to the
ladies they have spoused. You do not envy them. You do not blame them.
This is Nigeria! Everyone gets married. Everyone must have a child.
(Maybe you should marry a lesbian, you have seen some on some websites).
And for a fugitive moment you consider fleeing to Europe. You discard
the thought. But you pick it right up when one morning you wake up and
on the TV hear the debate on the senate floor. Not long after, your
sanctimonious senators anathematize everything gay and slam a 14-year
legislative seal on it. They have no idea they’d just poured fuel into a
raging fire of gay hate and signalled an era of terror for you and your
kind. Heterosexuals invade your cabalistic social media luring
your brothers and experimenting all sorts of evil on them. They are
brutalised, raped, robbed, blackmailed, humiliated on the streets and in
work places but they take it in good stride cause it is a lesser evil
than the 14 years imprisonment against which they cannot make a fuss and
which their antipathetic assailants quote for justification. You hear
of those stoned in the North, and of those whom are forcefully
exorcised. Quickly you deactivate your profile and are wary of even
previously trusted gay acquaintances. You get irritable at the lie you
see you have to live forever.
Nigeria, all 923,769 sq km of it,
becomes a claustrophobic space, it closes in on you. Now frustrated by
it all you hate even the air here and wish wings to carry you across the
Atlantic. You make up your mind to leave. You decide Europe. Or maybe
America.
Photo Credit: aliciabanks.xanga.com
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Chinagorom Martin Emeka is a graduate of philosophy from the Pontifical Urbaniana University Rome. He grew up in Onitsha Nigeria where he now lives. When he’s not reading he’s trying to dance or trying to write. He’s available on martinchinagorom@yahoo.com.
Chinagorom Martin Emeka is a graduate of philosophy from the Pontifical Urbaniana University Rome. He grew up in Onitsha Nigeria where he now lives. When he’s not reading he’s trying to dance or trying to write. He’s available on martinchinagorom@yahoo.com.
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